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Be a Gentleman Please

From the movie of Quantum of Solace - the next James Bond movie

What are exactly the criteria to be a gentleman? This question starts to linger in and out my ears passing through my half-function brain all otherwise hot day long (there was a problem with my electricity earlier this day). This complicated story starts when one of my cyber space friends asked for my phone number. Let me bold that sentence; she asked for my phone number. I kindly said that it would be better if she could gives her number first as I do not want my number to be open for the whole world viewing. Her comment’s box is automatically approved while comments in my page need to have my approval first. But she refused and uttered the most cliché excuses in the world, “you should give yours first if you are a gentleman”.

Before I continue further, I honestly admit that my reaction after that was not to be proud off. Nevertheless, the lack of sleep and a very hot day already fueled up my sarcastic level with every sweat that I dropped. I replied her back by saying and I quoted:

Alahai.. ( Malaysian’s commonly use word which equivalent to ‘whatever’ but in a pity tone) Are you judging how 'gentleman' someone is by providing his phone number for viewing in the open internet and full of pervert from all over cyber world? Well, if that what it takes to be a 'gentleman', this is my phone number.. +6017+++++++

Well, please tell me whether I am overreacted or not. What are exactly the criteria to be a gentleman? When do we could imply the gentleman word in our daily sentences? Other than this one, the only common usage of it is when you are queuing for something, such as paying for bills, foods or while trying to do something that requires no harm and hardness. In my opinion, this is just a bullshit a way for women to discriminate male being (other than this way, they also done this). They want to make you believe that there is a standard opposed by them to level up your manliness (while they laughing their way to the queue in front off you.

Thus, for male inherited traits like myself, please beware of those XX chromosomes. They are just trying to blind you. Defend your species before they continue to extinct from this world. And for those women out there, please please please do let me know what the criteria to be a gentleman are. It is just unfair to compare a normal man with some movies heroes. They are just acting, in case you are naïve.

And for me, I just blew away my chance with this girl. What a day...

And guest what? She message me back! but, the first thing she asked was, COULD YOU BORROW ME SOME MONEY?? Unfortunately for her (and good for me), I was already on bus, on the way back to my college. hurm.. what's up with that??


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fara said...

interesting topic. At times it's ladies first and sometimes it could be gentleman first.

It still depends on the girl.
My gentleman would be defined as the man offering to buy mcflurry oreo (without me hinting and of course i give him my money), i sit elsewhere or stand near some tiang waiting for my Mcflurry delivery. lol

ps: u might be given a 2nd chance ;)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Fara,

wow.. that's some trick. A simple trick if someone really knows you. Haha.. But then, if gentleman is that easy to be 'bought', I am sure there will be lots and lots of gentlemen out there and the girls would had a headache to choose which one is the best.

Oh, and mcD would be richer than ever! I am loving it. parap pap pa pap.. hahahaha

Akmal said...

Gee, giving out your number = gentleman? That's cheap! Hehe.
Definition varies, trust me ;)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Akmal,

I do agree with you. And she still doesn't give me a call afterward. Not that I am waiting for any. Hehehe...

Thanks for your comment!

nisha said...

Hey dude.. i think she should've given you her number first after asking if you're interested to speak with her over the phone;)

I dont think theres any difference in a gentleman and ladies 'first'... why does a lady get to be seated first.. when its a 'gentleman first' world? its a modern world.. i dont think it hardly matters:)

In this case it isnt a man whose asking for the number, its a woman.. when shes bold enough to put across to you that she wants to speak to you over the phone then she should be bold enough to give out her number too! hehe

But at least you were kind enough to prove your etiquettes right:)

Faisal Admar said...

Eh you change your template again? No wonder it looks different :P

She abused the word “gentleman” in order to take advantage on you. I won’t entertain her if that was her reply. I don’t know her and why should I give out my phone number? If by doing that I am not a gentleman… who cares?

The way she replies is so typical. I don’t want to dig deeper into this but that is not the way for man to show his gentleman.

P/s: The picture is hot. How I wish I have great body like him… I guess that is gentleman haha!

axim said...

be polite with a girl and you will look so gentle towards them!!

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Nisha,

In this case it isnt a man whose asking for the number, its a woman.. when shes bold enough to put across to you that she wants to speak to you over the phone then she should be bold enough to give out her number too! hehe

God, you put the words in my mouth yet again! I really, totally and clearly agree with your statement above.

But, may be she just being shy after asking for my phone number. Woman is complicated (fullstop)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Faisal,

I did know her for quite sometimes - just like any casual friends I met online. But in my defense, we only socialized via the web. I never ever talk with her alive yet. Then, after I missing out from the web for quite sometimes (busy studying - most common excuse from me), she asked for my phone number. And then... Well, the rest is history (you could read up the post by yourself right? :)

I am glad you noticed it. Do you like this template better?

Oh, Daniel Craig's body in the Casino Royale is to die for. Even to dream for having a body like that is insane. I wonder how many he spends in the gym
in per day

mangosteenskin said...

well, if u're asking me...i think u shouldn't let this thing bother u. whether she's childish or just pulling your leg...just look at the bright side...maybe she's just playing jinak2 merpati. hehe. maybe u should retaliate by tarik2 umpan also lah. hehe. being married teach me further that man and woman does not think alike, and easily misinterpreted each other.

rizal said...


men are from mars and women are from venus? hehe.. read it b4? i suggest you should read it..

anyway, chiter pendek - i think that girl is taking advantage of "lelaki first.."

when you decided that not to give her ur number for all the reasons you mentioned above.. betullah tu..

jawapan sinis? hmmm some people may say you overeacted.. but some people may agree with how you reacted..

apa pun... no big deal la.. i think both pun belajar - that girl mungkin takkan senang2 guna alasan macam tu selepas terkena jawapan sinis.. and you have learned, how to react to such question in the future kan.. huhu

or maybe, like mango said - jinak2 merpati? tarik2 umpan? huhuhu..

heppy friday..

Faisal Admar said...

hmm this template is not bad :)
i love the header btw...

erk, i thought you cannot workout too often as the muscle won't be built up if you work out too often. the best is 3 days a week... and with good schedule on certain parts.

-Princess Shin- said...

I think to me gentleman is someone that respects girls. I kinda think she is using the term "gentleman" wrongly.

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Axim,

In your personal view, do you think I am being rude to her? I would really love to know your opinion


Hi Mango,

Wah.. Finally you are back! I am sure you really busy with your works and those ATCs. hehe..

Yup, men and women not usually thinking a like. and I hate how sometimes I misinterpret someone too. But from honest point of view, we should not assume someone will think like we do.. At least leave behind some of the tips and guide to their mind. This goes as a remainder to male kind too :D

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Rizal,

Hehe. I heard bout that book bout how men and women are different right? Something like that if I am not mistaken. Thanks anyway for your opinion ;)


Hi Faisal,

Well, may be with the helps of personal trainers, nutritionist, regime diet and personal chef, I am sure you could have what he has too. People do invest a lot on beauty aren't they? Hehe

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Princess Shia,

Thanks for your comment Princess, I do agree with you that perhaps she may used the wrong word at the wrong time. No offense though. I live up and alive another day ;)

I hope to see you here more often!

izzahismail said...

very interesting one.
i miss your blog.
trying to catch up with time you know.
busy busy busy.

oh,on to the topic.for me personally,gentleman depends on the situation.there's certain situation when you need or need not to be gentle..but in ur case, i just dont understand why did she relates it with being gentleman.

anyway,you have a good day!

zackzara said...

My definition for someone to be gentleman enough is to respect and love the woman the way she deserve. Personally, asking/giving one's number is not an issue..its just a matter of one's principle (either to give the number/details with or without reason)...but to call a man 'not gentleman' by not giving out his number can be called as 'a person who is not matured as yet'.

Sweetiepie said...

Everyone has their own reason and the rights for not review their personal info.I don't think your are not gentleman.Times have changed girls have become a lot more vocal and expressive than did the right step.:P

hey!by any chance maybe you can drop by my new site

Milkberry said...

Haha I'm sorry to read about your dilemma. Anyways, I know one definition, and it's not that hard. I heard it from a movie (Blast from the Past), but I always think that it's an awesome definition (hence why I remember it).

A gentleman or a lady is someone who always attempts to make the people around him or her feel as comfortable as possible.

So I guess it's quite true? *Point above* James Bond being the perfect gentleman really does seem like he made all the girls around him being as comfortable as possible right? That's why he could do ANYTHING to/with them. Haha just my 2 cents.

Shemah said...

I've got to agree with zackzara on this one. You are a gentleman as long as you respect, have good mannerisms and care for whoever it is.. doesn't matter whether they're your loved ones or someone you just met on the street. Same goes for women as well.

As for the phone number, it's your call. If you're not comfortable with that, then it shouldn't bother you with what she thinks about you because it's what you stand for.

She might be a little misguided in her interpretation of a gentleman.. So, whatever it is, don't let it get to you. :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Izzahismail,

I miss you too! hehe. I hope everything is going fine with your study. Don't squeeze your self out!

Thanks for your comment though.

And guest what? She message me back! but, the first thing she asked was, COULD YOU BORROW ME SOME MONEY?? Unfortunately for her (and good for me), I was already on bus, on the way back to my college hurm.. what up with that??

mOEha Aziz said...

salam haaziq,

life is about judging.. i chose not to bother about the labels.. as long as i know i'm treating a lady accordately, i'll continue.. ask them,you'll b on the right path.. everybody has their own opinions so, only tuanunya badan would know what she wants.. :)

Farah Deen said...

Sorry to be rude but if this girl thinks by giving your number, you are a gentleman- then, I am sorry for he. To me, it takes more than just giving your number to be a gentleman.

There are other aspects of a man to qualify him to be a gentleman. A lot of people say French men are gentleman, I do agree to a certain extend, but you can't judge an island by just one man! I have more respect to a intelligent man who is transparent, as most of the times, these so called 'gentleman' are man who wear masks to make a girl fall into his trap. If all girls wanted are men who help them with the car door, give them their numbers and all, then, well, I would say, they can get them everywhere. not at all a problem.

some 'gentlemen' can be phony and are not even sincere in what they do. Why can't a man be himself and make the other person love him for what he is and not something what the other person wants him to be? why can't ladies be more matured and not use the term 'gentleman' to get things done their way?

AngelBaby said...

I think she was trying to take advantage of you my dear friend. I agree if she was bold enough to ask for you number she should be bold enough to give you hers. I think you lucked out because all she wanted was money. Too bad she missed out on a good one when she did that. I think your Guardian Angels were watching out for you.

Love and Blessings,

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Zara,

Thanks for your comment. Not matured? I hope her read this. Hehe


Hi Sweetiepie,

I will visit there as soon as possible! Hehe. I am glad you're back Sweetiepie~

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Milkyberry,

"A gentleman or a lady is someone who always attempts to make the people around him or her feel as comfortable as possible."

Great! Finally there is a definition that I do agree with.. And who knows that you would found it from an old movie? hehe

Thanks for your comment! I hope to see you around more often after this~ ;)


Hi Shemah,

Yeah, and the best part of it, I am just continue living my life! :D


Salam Moeha,

Thanks for sharing your opinion man! I really appreciate it :)

nisha said...

Hehehe.. so now i know why she was shy.. and yeah women are complicated, rightly said;)

Farah Deen said...

hmm wonder what you have to say abt my comments? :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Farah,

Sorry for replying your comment late. I am in between two post (this one and Avril Lavinge's one). Hehe..

I must say, I think French people are most elegant human being in the world. They spoke wisely and etiquette in their daily routine. Some of us may feel intimidated with it, but then may be we are raise in different ways.. However, to say that ALL French men are gentlemen is overrated. Of course there always a bad one in a bunch of good. Nevertheless, as well said by you, we can't judge an island by just one man!

I have a vague idea in mind of what a gentleman should be. They must be gentle and kind towards women, nurture, understanding woman needs and responsible. Of course, in a way, he must be himself :) I might not have all the values yet, but I am sure will try to be a gentleman :)


Hi Anglebaby,

I am quite shock actually to have her calling me after what I said to her. And even more shocking when I knew that she wanted to borrow my money. I am not sure whether she really need that money urgently and coincidentally she asked me, but too many coincident never a good start in a relationship, even as a close friend...


Hi Nisha,

Yeah, women sure more complicated than men. But some men sure try hard to beat it. hehehe

Thanks for your comment!

katunX said...

"gentle" man banyak didapati di Lorong Haji Taib..

maybe boleh suruh dia tanya..but only at night.

macam Batman, tiba-tiba nak tengok Dark Knight balik..


bluecrystaldude said...

Hi katunX,

Haha.. cheh.. Tu wat pe.. Thanks for comment anyway. Lame dah tak nampak? huhuu

Anonymous said...

auwh!! I'm the last to comment??? gosh!

there's no specific guidlines or even right terms to describe a gentleman best... unless you refer to any dictionary... still... it doesn't really explain enough...

to be a gentleman... for me, not by giving out numbers, not by paying for foods and whatever action they do before the girls... it's simple... for me, a gentleman that took ownership of what he said, his action, and never blame the other party... is a true gentleman...

Hm... about your situation... sangat kesian... because she just thought that you can be one of her 'mangsa'! she wanted your number... as she got a hidden agenda...

good for u! please don't hope for a second chance from her... you deserve better!

zaza said...

Humm.. as I read upon this entry, there are two assumptions I can make:

1. She is the first who asking for your num, and when u refused,she tries to trigger u to give yours by saying : "you should give yours first if you are a gentleman"

>> Huhu.. i think this is actually not about gentlemen matters. she's actually playing save dude.. instead of her num being shown to others, she prefer yours.. ;)

2. When she ask about borrowing your money..

>> ehehe.. for me, the best interpretation is: she is taking advantage on u.
>> But it can be that she might just want to test u.. to see what wud be your reaction then (erk.. this is really bad beginning of any relationship!!)

p/s: U have really great blog..! have a nice day =)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Love-n-Hate,

Well, seems like you are not the last one :)

Thanks for your comforting words. I am not trying at all to contact her in any sense. I haven't been in the social page for quite some times, and I never massages her phone

How do I say this delicately, I passed her out :)


Hi Zara,

LOL. If that is the beginning of relationship, I could not think off anything how it will ends. Haha. I know, one should not predict things too early, but sometimes, the wildness of your instinct that takes you further. Am I making any sense?

Sigh.. Thanks for the compliment. I am trying my best :D

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