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What is the perfect age to get married?


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When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ~ George Bernard Shaw, Getting Married, 1908

Click to hear the song Here Comes The Bride:









Why we are getting married? For some, the rest of their life will be like a carrion crows who is trying to survive just to live another day of fight and dismay. That is why you should have a little help, called patient so that you would not just end up regretting your life but you still have to live with it. After all, everyone has a dream to be married once (a statement not a rhetoric question). Some prefer to be marriage when they already have a stable career, a nice home and enclosed with a good social environment.

For others, they prefer to get married at an early age, mostly 18-23. Some are firm believer that we should be married at the first love that we had, or that if we wait a little bit longer, the right person may just walks pass by without our noticed. Others, believe in spontaneous act or when adrenaline hormone urges to a certain level (may or may not be due to abundant booze, boobs and drugs) have to get married just to fill an annulment hours after that (Read Britney Spears).

But in some part of the world, most commonly in South Asia and Saharan Africa, the children there did not have the right to choose, they were forced to. Their parents may consent to child marriage out of economic necessity, or because they believe marriage will protect girls from sexual assault and pregnancy outside marriage, extend girls’ childbearing years or ensure obedience to their husband’s household. From UNICEF report on 2007, 36 per cent of women aged 20-24 were married or in union before they even reached their 18th birthday. Child marriage is a long-standing tradition in areas where it is practices, making protest sometimes barely possible.

Photo from Flickr

So, if you ask me, what is the perfect age for me to marriage, I will say around 25-30 years old. I will graduate with my degree when I am 23, settle down as a junior engineer in my scholar’s firm for 4 years. Buy a comfortable house, the latest hybrid car and enjoying my years of traveling, parties and social meeting every before I move into the real adult age at 30 (young adult age should be around 20-29). My partner should be around 23-35 years old. I do not mind a matured one, if she is still keep in shape and has more experienced than I am – I will go and chase her if I feel that she is the right one for me.

Several factors to be consider when you are deciding your perfect age for marriage:

1. Career
2. Self achievement
3. Finances including assets and property
4. Physical attraction and emotion attachment
5. and the most important is Mr. or Mrs. Right

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ~ Author Unknown

Of course, this is only a plan. In the end, we leave it to God to do His wonders. Marriage: a knot of two souls, two live and two families.

To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
'Till death do us part

Kindly note, I would love to hear comments from marriage couples to those who still single, to share their thought upon this matter. Your comment may or may not be used or publish for educational purposes only. I really appreciate your comments.

Bluecrystaldude

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45 comments:

Emila Yusof said...

HI BlueCrystalDude, this is a good topic to discuss.

I married at the age of 32, while the last sibling to get married is my brother at the age of 33. I think we all should get marry when we're really ready to commit ourselves to a greater responsibilities.

neomesuff said...

So..the question is at what age ... hmmmmm...

Technically..the perfect age to get married for a guy depends on..ughhh this is a tough question hehehhe...depends on how ready he is, depends on where he stays rural or urban, depends on whether he is financially sound, depends on the level of responsibilities that he is willing to shoulder, depends on the kind of wife he is marrying ( materialistic or not ;-P ).

i have friends who got married right after school and now have a kid that is about to enter college..and she is now..more relax anc can focus on her career..compare to me who is still struggling with the little kids. i have also a friend who just got married today and he is now 36..my age, although he is financially sound since 10 years ago. i have also friends my age, who is not married till now and still looking for his/her soulmate. i have also friends who got divorce not just once but twice. altho their salary is more than 10k a month

So it is all about how you want yr life to be. Money is ofcoz important, but love trust and respect is the utmost important. If you look at the the time factor..malaysian one...if you get married at 30..assuming at 47 yr kid is about to enter college, u hafta be financially prepared for that. u hafta look at 20 years beyond. Me, we have gone thru our hard time..and now we're getting better..and i realize..the 3 factor above strenghtened the 'institution'

For a girl/woman... despite many women now are career minded compared to orang dulu2, still we want men to support us not just financially but emotionally, and now women are now are looking at $$$, not looks. and somehow men nowadays are looking for women who has $$$ too..ironic. So sometimes people wonder, people marry for the money or for the love...however...they say..love is blind..money is more realisitic.

and I must say..to have quality marriage..is "to love and to cherish till death do us apart"..if a person actually thinks that they should keep the marriage.

but then again...whatever happens to the marriage..succesful or not depends on our nawaitu and God willing.

So the age that u chose..and the timeframe is actually viable.. then after that u have to go thru the process..almost like what i wrote in my previous entry. It is not an easy process, but surely youre one step ahead

..like i always said..just go with the flow..should anythihg happen..is always blessing in disguise..

amboih..panjang giler nih...hehehe

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Emila,

Thank you from your comment. I would love to comment your blog like I used too, but my internet connection is killing me.

I really appreciate your thought, and for sharing your age of marriage. And for that, Thank you so much.. :D

P/S: I love her post about her son nightmare. She even attached a beautiful picture of him. Check it out here!

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Neomesuff,

Your point is loud and clear. I love it! Oh, and I really love your post about your last post too (Still haven't managed to comment it). But the one that made me chose this title is actually from your post about Mushy Time.I could not stop grinning after I read the post. I was wicked and plain truth at the same point.

I agreed with you about how we should looks for the years ahead us before get married. Especially when it is about your future kids. I wanted to talk about that matter in my post, but the length of my post stop me before that. One of the concern with women who married at later age, let say 40, is the possibilities of her pregnancy. Doctors usually will noticed you the danger of carrying a late child on your late age of maturity. There even high probability that your child will has a down syndrome symptom.

Nevertheless, the advance of medicine nowadays are really appealing. We could resort to in-vitro, seed implemented and even adoption. I am sure that if there is a God wills, there is a way.

Thank you so much for your supportive comment. I really have to rewrite my post about marriage after this. Haha..

Hafizd said...

salam...

well, i love this post very well. what age shud i get married? well, rite now i am already hired. so, the golden question if i am going back to my hometown is marriage. basically the reason u stated above is clear and for me the most important thing is to settle down and get well into the work environment very well..

as i heard before, my work might require me to travel a lot * love that!!* so, if i were to get married, i believe that i the one that not ready enough to shoulder my wife n my kids with full of attention.

btw, i am still young and energetic, so travel is a must. then the most suitable range to get married is around 27-31 lah~ =p

rite now, i must plan everything very well from the short term and long term..

big n comfortable house, settlement area, etc... mas kawin pon nk kene pkir gak~ haha

Faisal Admar said...

omg! nomi nak buat post baru ke tuh? keke... pjg nye comment.

bcd, for my opinion... i'd say the best age for a man is at 30. where they are mature enough and stable (i know some still struggling with financial problem at this age). to me man is so independent and will raise his wife (should i use raise?) and also his kid[s]. so his financial should be solid! full stop.

for woman, its ok if they want to get marry at the young age (i didn't say underage okeh!). woman tend to be dependent but its ok if they want to be so... pampered and adorable :) as long as the husband has enough to give (doesn't mater money, happiness even lust to fulfill).

i will get marry at the age of 30 if its not possible i will buy another house haha! bmw is my dream but after i have 5 houses! :P

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Hafidz,

Hahaha.. Hafidz, well then, you are very lucky person to get that job position. However, traveling does take the distance away from your love one. The best solution is to choose someone who is doing the same job as yours. Traveling together seems to settle lots of trouble. hehe. Of course, it is worth to note that married someone that you meet everyday, day and night is not a very good idea. Everyone needs a space :)

I wish you lucks in your new job :D

rizal said...

great post...

i am surrounded by many people who married at a later age. My great Industrial Design Prof, now at the age of 55+, still has his youngest daughter at the age of 14. Three of my friends, 30+ - who are quite successful, are still bachelors(And yesss, they are not gays okay.. keke - i find it funny just because kawin lambat, people sometimes make an assumption.. haha, tak per la). Even i have my office colleagues who married at the age of 30+.. then again, of course there are many evidences of my friends and colleagues who married at the age of 20+.. too

Sepenuhnya bersetuju dgn kenyataan
neomestuff - ""to love and to cherish till death do us apart" -- Kawin mudah, cabarannya, kehidupan lepas kawin..

I also agree with you that several factors are to be considered sebelum kawin. Mr and Mrs. Right? Kalau lelaki jumper perempuan yang dirasakan Mrs. Right? Boleh tak perempuan tu anggap lelaki tuu Mr. Right - Mungkin perempuan tu kata "ahhh, maaf laa tapi awak bukan Mr.Right saya?.. and vice versa. And the pursue will go on and on and on, sedangkan apa ada depan mata tak nampak, tapi asyik nak cari yang ngam2 soi atau the so perfect my soulmate - you complete me - you are my ying and yang (ahaha.. am i speaking about me?) The point is, we cant really find the Mr. and Mrs. Right, but as long as looking at him / her as a whole package yang baik.. itu sudah dikira bagus dan sebagai permulaan untuk memulakan sesuatu kehidupan baru yang indah. I ve have friends yang kawin atur too, and they are still happy now (couldnt believe at this age there are still people kawin dulu cinta kemudian - but the idea seems cool)

Three years ago, my father and siapa ntah set me and this girl up. Siap ada famili datang makan2 sekali.. ayoyoyo sessi interview tu.. The girl was nice. Emak sebelah perempuan was hoping to have me as menantu. The last thing i remember, i said to my dad "Abah kalau suka sgt * .. abah jerr laa kawin ngan dia.."My father's jaw dropped. hehe. But it was such a good experience to go thru. Mcm chiter p.ramlee ibu mertua ku.

Of all, i think the most important thing is financial planning. This has nothing to do whether you marry at the early or later age. Financial planning is a habit. Marrying early or later doesnt guarantee you can have an easy old life. I ve have long heard much argument that kawin lambat kang susah bila nak besarkan anak sebab masih nak pakai belanja. Well, there are still people who married at an early age still struggle later stages of their life. Well, as for me, i am sure as rezeki tu kalau dah diperuntukkan oleh ALLAH tetap ada. My Ind Design Prof, at the age of 55+, with his youngest daughter aged 14, is making 30K per month. So, as for me, lambat atau cepat, tak da kena mengena ngan payah atau susah cari duit. InsyaALLAH kalau sudah ditetapkan.

I guess tu ajer, yang lain2 bagi la yang lain pulak komen..

er.. restnrileks tgh carik calon yang kalau ditakdirkan nanti hidup susah tahap poor, sanggup tak naik basikal ajer atau naik motor ajer, sedang kawan2 semua naik kereta sejuk berair-cond..

:)

p/s : harap komen ni cukup panjang seperti mana komen di restnrileks..
hehe..

Happy Saturday..

zackzara said...

Dear BCD,

I like this entry. :)

There is no hard or soft rule on what is the perfect age for marriage. It all depends on how well parties involved are ready to commit into the marriagehood. The only catch about marrying too late for women, is whether they are able to conceive, but it should not hinder them from not getting married. For man, life begins at 40, so they say.

Some choose not to tie the knot for they are not ready to hold another responsibility. Some choose to hop into marriagehood with no proper plan, usually when their hearts are on fire, but always hearts on fire are hearts in danger. Stepping into marriage without proper plan will do no good to the marriage at a later stage, and hence, most of the reason of why the marriage irretrivably broken down is because there is no more consensus between the minds of both couples. Marriage built on love collapsed.

Age? It's are just a number.

I, for once, during my univ days thought that the perfect age for me to get married is at the age of 27, but now, am passed that age and still single (and available, but I don't mean to do any form of advertisement here, pls take note LOL)...so really, to me, the answer is, it is when you have found your soulmate (it may or may not be your mr/mrs right) and when things have falled into its place, and without you even noticed, the age is not important and does not have any significance eventually because the only thing on your mind is to get married.

Age? It's just a number.

On another note, love, trust, honest and anything in between should always be the utmost important factors to be taken into consideration when one's plan to tie the knot. Age, again, is just a number.

*I agree with neomesuff and he had a good point there. :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Faisal Admar,

Women nowadays tend to concentrate on their works too rather than settle down and get married. I do not having problem with that. I thing women who are independent are sexier than who are not! lol

bluecrystaldude said...

To ALL,

WOW.. All comments here are longer than my entry! I AM JUMPING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. haha.. I need to present this topic whether on Monday or Tuesday. And I still need to do the slide show of it. So, I really happy to see all those comments. Even at the time I read and reply those comments, I received yet another one. This is good, no it is GREAT!

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Rizal,

I love your point here. Especially the part when you stress on the point that it does not matter the most whether someone is married early or at later age and no matter how young your kid will be, you could always find money for him.

My parents married at around 20 years-old. And my younger sibling is already 19 years-old. He always said how he glad for having kids at an early age. That being said, he keeps hinted my big brother who is 25 years-old this year to wait for sometimes before getting married. How ironic. hehe

I hope you will find someone that will suit you my friend. I am sure there is someone out there who is waiting for you. Chewah.. Jiwang gler. hahaha

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Zara,

I am so glad you are commented this post. I am sure if my heart could be materialize, it will hug you close. :D

Before I continue to reply any further, I am just want to correct you, that Neomesuff is a woman. Hehehe. She is looks like a young rock star though - very independent and live her life well. You are awesome Neomesuff! You are one of the coolest person I ever read. Hehe

Back to you Zara, how should I say this delicately? You took the words from my mouth (even some of it I never thought about). However, what do you think about women who marriage at late age and their risk of conceive? I am sure that should count into something before you want to get married right?

Of course, parents nowadays are thinking of having only one or two children of their own. Getting as many kids for the continuity of their genes and traits is not a very big deal of some. Even adoption and medical enhancement and helps are not something taboo in the eyes of society nowadays. My aunt who pregnant by using invitro was interviewed once by an English magazine about the Malays society perception on this matter. She said plainly that, "I don't care". I also won't care if I was in her position.

Along with this matter, it is worth noted that stress at work also could dampen the chance of pregnancy. Though I am sure God has a way to works his wonder :)

zackzara said...

erk! so its she! isk. my mistake for not checking her blog before hand. Thousand apology, sis. :)

Abt women who conceived at a later age (or cant conceive due to age factor) is of course one of the thing that need to be taken into consideration before getting married. But we have options. Like you said, adopted children, invitro, etc. But by then, we need to be extra mentally ready because if we aren't ready to raise kids not from our genes, pity is to the kids.

But the bottom line is : Jodoh pertemuan itu di tangan Allah. Kita hanya merancang, DIA yang menentukan.

:)

have a nice weekend, BCD.

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Zara,

In God willing, everything lies :)

Have a great weekend too Zara!

neomesuff said...

Alamak bro, u make me shy laaaaa...young rock star lah pulakkk hehehheeee,,,speechless..altho im used to that statement ;-P,,its okay Zara..used to that too hehhee...masa sekolah tomboy ;-P

Alaaa..Faisal...sekali sekala bg comment..sampai tak sedar diri..hehe..and and it has been quite a while i have not been bloghopping. Rizal..agreed with u too c'est la vie!

Eh Neomesuff...sapa punya blog nih???!!! over over hehehe

Bro..there is ofcoz kinda risky to get pregnant above 40, but it is achievable..and like u said the technology will help and fit and healthy body too helps a lot..it is not for the in labour process je...taking care of the baby tuuu..

and by the way..eh..what does chem.engine course gotta do with this 'marriage issue' presentation..?

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Neomesuff,

Hahaha.. It's okay.. Make yourself at home. hehe..

What's gotta to with my course? Well, I have take a Technical And engineering English course this semester. And we have to have a personal presentation. The lecturer was kind enough to let us choose our own subject but with a remainder that it must be "original, matured and have your personal opinions in it"

So, I chose this title. Another title that was in my consideration is Boys Are Stupid. I love that post. But I let one of my friends took that title based on my post. Haha - I am more than proud when someone said that they wanted to take one of my post to be on their presentation :D

Plus, I did not choose Boys Are Stupid because I wanted to post some knowledgeable and debatable post in my blog. Already posted so many light reading before this post. And I really need to stop talking about myself. Hahaha

rizal said...

Blue,

I think this topic present kira topik yang matang. I would go for this than "Boys are stupid @ Some Boys are stupid.." hehehe..

Hope you ll do great for your presentation.

@Neomestuff,
cool stuffs you have on your blog. Itu bahasa yang disampaikan sungguh ooniqueee.. hehe. Sorry, since i picture here is a bit small, i thought, neomestuff was a he until i went to your blog.

I think you rawk!! Rawk like a superstar.. hehe

@Zackzara,
I thought you were an Industrial Design major, rupanya Industrial Design agent, err correct me if i am wrong.. :)

I agree, age is just a number. A number which sometimes can be stressful too. I just like to think - the last time i check, my age was 25 and i lost count (ahak ahak ahak... kes tak terima realiti.. keke)

oh! you are single too? wink wink haha..

@Blue again,
Maybe posting isu-isu yang berat weekend senang ramai nak bagi post panjang2 kot.. sebab semua tak dak rush rush dan masih syok sebab esok masih cuti..

Bukti - see this is first time i comment twice. 2 x is good like minyak masak Seri Murni - pemeringkatan dua kali.. haha..

Have a great basketball play tomorrow..

:)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Rizal,

Maybe posting isu-isu yang berat weekend senang ramai nak bagi post panjang2 kot.. sebab semua tak dak rush rush dan masih syok sebab esok masih cuti..

Yeah, it is one of the factor. Plus, I managed to finish up a post like this that need an extra thought only during the weekend. I dare not to gamble with my study just to blog a few stuff. Hehe

P/S: and how exactly you knew Zara's work? I am impressed. And sometimes wonder how fast news travel around this internet-sphere. LOL

Back to the topic, other than read Neomesuff post about her Mushy Time, I also been inspired by my big brother. I noticed that many of his schoolmates were already married. But not him. I am sure he has a plan like mine :D

Farah Deen said...

interesting and this is the topic we discuss a lot even at home!

To me, to be married, both the lady and the man should be wise and matured enough. Most of the times now, people get married with their loved ones, not so much of parents choice anymore (will get back to arranged marriage in a while). because of this, there are a lot of people who got married based on infatuations alone. I have a cousin who is not working nor educated and she's 22 years old. her husband to be is also 22 years old and working on contract basis- salary of RM600 a month! I don't know how they will manage once they are married!

In my opinion, the man should at least have a good, decent and secured job. not so much of highly paid job, but a secure and stable job. Personally, I don't like man without vision and those who don't have the sentiments of a family. In order to lead a family, he has to provide most for the family, so, to me, basic things such as a proper good job, house, car and some money in the savings count. To me, I respect educated guys as I get annoyed with guys without education and makes themselves look like fools most of the times. Well, basic point, well educated, decent and good prospect!

I got married when I was 26, and my husband then was 32. 6 years difference of age. He was very matured and smart and was already having a stable job and a house to move in when we got married. I feel secured with him from the first day I knew him. My sister, who is elder than me, is still not married though. She was doing her PhD when I got married and she seems to enjoy her life as a career woman. She will be married, but she never once complained about late in getting married!

physical attraction is important at first impression, but as the relationship grows, you look more for other qualities. I still believe in love marriage, no matter what others say. to be able to live and see the same face every single day, we have to be in love with the person. of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder- who cares!

back to arranged/ fixed marriage, this is very much common in indian muslim families. I have seen a few of these marriages broken apart too because there's no love. the only love these kinda marriage have is family love- the family loves the girl/ boy more! LOL

I love the list of yours there- very much the kind of list I WOULD HAVE FOR MY MR RIGHT (and of course, I got mine!)

career, education, self achievement and finances to me are the MUST HAVES before indulging in a marriage life. Marriage is about commitment- life long commitments, it's not just monkey love or infatuation. Most of the people nowadays who got married at the age of 18-24 are not even wise or matured enough to realise the value of marriage. There are a lot who got married while studying too. Well, some love to come up together, share money to buy properties together and all. well, while some succeed, there are couples who fail too. however, if both have the brains, then it should be OK.

Faisal Admar said...

omg! bcd, just copy some of the comments and post it as your new entry! lol.

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Farah Deen,

Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. And I have to say that you made a right choice (or so as it seems) for your Mr. Right. Hehe

Yes, marriage is a long life commitment. Which is why there is some who prefer not to be married while some just could not find the right person - some should be blamed for their high expectations

As what Rizal said earlier, society tends to judge them as gay/lesbian and called them names like "Andartu" and so on. What more could we say? Jodoh di tangan Tuhan..

Hehe.. Thanks again Farah Deen for your very helpful and constructive comment. Farah already married and blessed with 2 beautiful and very determine kids (a boy and a girl). Hope she will continue her life as a married woman well :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Faisal Admar,

Yeah, amazing right? haha. I will post about this for the next post. A little token of appreciation from me too :D

The Success said...

Perfect age for married???
I think depend on each person
Some want married young and some want be alone for a while
But the important is What is the objective of married???
Not only sex, but we need the people for who behind us forever

zackzara said...

Hmmm...allow me to passed this one to Rizal, BCD. :)

Yes, am an Industrial Design agent as well as a Trademark Agent...and I do a lot of other works as well. :)

I lost count on my age too! LOL Ahh.. its just a number. *wink*

And BCD, ID and TM agent is at my profile. *wink*

Hmm.. I'm sure your presentation rocks! And good luck, dear.

bluedreamer27 said...

i agree with those factors for me there wasnt such right age to get married well maybe it can be a factor but least prioritize
marriage should be set with well preparations of all the possible things
you have to think twice thrice or more before getting into it
marriage was sacred for me
why dude? are planning to gt married?
well just want to thank you also for your willingness to join and be my guest this coming september
ill watch out for your top five
have a great day!!

Farah Deen said...

thanks so much BCD,

you summarised everything just well. the term andartu are for 'idiots'! i think, those are people who sees marriage as a task you need to complete before certain age. marriage is not a task and never should be one, it is a willingly committed 'crime' hahahahhaha

and as for you, take your time. you are definitely a career oriented guy, and make sure to choose a smart girl to be your wife ok? believe me, marriage is about communication and that partner of yours should be equally intelligent to be able to live with you and share your thoughts too.

na, I know you have your own high standards! :)

love-n-hate said...

Heyya bluecrystaldude...

Wahh!!! almost 30 comments :) Hot topic huh???

I don't want to read through all the comments because I don't want my opinion to be affected by any... I'm sorry, if it is the same as others...

There is no magical age to get married... There is no certain age that entitles you to the maturity and wisdom you need to succeed at marriage... and age is not a guarantee of one being completely physically or emotionally matured...

While there is no magical age to get married... one is almost always better off waiting to get married... for lots of good reasons...

I've received quite a number of marriage proposals from relatives, bf (now ex-es), and also friends over this 5 years... I've tried to determine what are the aspects that need to be taken into account to make a perfect decision... as this decision might totally change my life...

While I'm in it... I mean in 'The proposal' period given time... I asked quite numbers of questions... and its actually somehow helps... :) Here's some...

1)Responsible - Can I handle the stress to get marry at young age and with adults responsibilities??
I believe to get married purely on love is not enough as after certain time we'll question ourself about life's security... jobs, housing, insurance and also $$$.

2)Needs - Does my future partner will satisfy my needs?? Can I still have freedom to achieve my goals??
I always love traveling... and I want that freedom... I've finished my Masters... so what's next??? I don't want to be only mediocre it what I do... I want to be 'somebody'... :)

3)Independent - Is he independent enough to get married??
Getting married requires a total emotional, physical and financial independent from family/parents... Healthy marriages require two-independent individuals to make a complete whole... a family!! Young couples typically marry to get away from their parents or a negative home environment... but there are other ways to cope...

4)Time - How long this union survive??
Everyone wants to be get married only once!! (...a statement)... me too!! Relationships need time to see if behavior patterns are consistently healthy... So, how long we both can stay happy and healthy??

5)Sure - Is this what I want?? Am I sure??
I want to know myself better... What I want in life?? What I wish to contribute to the whole world and how?? I want to live with purpose and meet others with similar world views and life visions...

Please read my latest post for another half of my explanation regarding marriage, and also ideal life partner...

Now... I want to believe that I'm ready... but still... I'm waiting for the 'one'... the right one!!!

Akmal said...

Hello BCD, this is a good thing to ponder upon la :) Anyway, one of my friend, 20 years old is going to get his first son next month :)
Marriage is a serious thing, but I personally don't restrict it to any age. As for myself, I think I want to go for Master first, go enjoy myself out before taking the heavy responsibility.
It IS heavy!

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Shemah said...

dude,

I got married young. At age 20. I guess my personality was just more independent and more mature than other friends my age. My friend who's the same age as me acts like a 15 yr old! Subconsciously, I think my father's death made me want a constant male figure in my life.. hubby is more than 10 years my senior (hahahaha he hates the word senior) and he's an adoring husband and father.

At his age, dating wasn't really an option.. he was ready for marriage and I could accept that. Marriage and motherhood never bothered me. Being a mother came naturally.. I love kids and would love to have more (depending on finances).. As for my studies, I can always continue when my kids are bigger. My parents brought all four of us siblings to the U.S. when they got their degree. And they managed to do great too! Doesn't mean I'll achieve success later than anyone else.

So basically, there's no answer as to what age you are when you're married. You'll know when you're good and ready. Some just earlier than others. :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi The Success,

I do not believe that there are people who get married just to have sex. More and more are having sex just like a casual meeting must do or because they are 'friends with benefits'

Though I must stress here that my religion is opposed with the sex being done casually. It should be not be done outside rightful marriage cycle.

But then, that is what that have been done nowadays..

Thank you for your considerate comment, I really appreciate it :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Zara,

Oh crap! I am so embarrassed right now. I wish I could read like an eagle.. or like Rizal.. Hehehe

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Bluedreamer,

LOL. I am not getting married yet. At least, not till I am 25-30 years old. hehe.. You could book your calender though. I am sure you will be on the guest list :)

About your top 5 thingy, no problem at all :D

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Love-n-hate,

Thank you for sharing this with us here. I really think that you have a well defined goals in your persuade in searching your Mr. Right.

I especially love the 'needs' factor that has been taken into your consideration. However, I also must reminds you that, some of the needs, such as traveling, could be done with the love one together. There are several good things that will feel great when we do it as a couple :D

I will come by your site pretty soon.. :D

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Akmal,

Hahaha.. Nothing is too early when it comes about planning my friend. Hehe. But I am sure you will finish up your study first. You are not like a kind of guy who will takes his commitment carelessly :)

=====

Hi Shemah,

Thank you for sharing with us your personal story with us. Your personal experience really toughen you up. And you must be lucky to find a husband who willing to take care of you even though you are still young (20 years-old was indeed young).

About how we could also seek for higher level of education when we are already married, yes, it is true. However, the are many hindrance for us to do so too. You must take care of your family, consider about family finance while you're studying and of course, you must have the really stone craved courage to get back to studying when you already have other priorities in your life.

Nevertheless, it is possible. My dad have done it too. I remember that we have to stay home with my mother all when he was away studying. It was tough. But after he finished his studying, everything gone better. I hope you could continue your study later. And I wish you and your growing up family alll the best :)

Sweetiepie said...

Hi,dude!

This is a great questions.Emm If an adult is mature and understand the true meaning of a commitment. It will be both responsibilities to raise children whether you are together or not,age has nothing to do with it.There is no perfect age. What is right for you is right for you.I married at the age of 23.Before I married,I was too tired to work with people and plan to have my own family and enjoy my life with my love one.But most important is a guy should have a stable job to start a family.:)

waliz said...

i agree wth u...25 to 35 years old is the ideal age to get married..not only they are matured but they also know wht is the responsibility they have to carry on their shoulder...and i think they must not get marry at very young age..they must have money so they wont burden their parent!

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Sweetiepie,

I am so honored to have you commented this post. I am glad you replied my invitation. I miss your absence Sweetiepie. I am sure there are many bloggers who miss you a lot too..

Nevertheless, I am hoping that everything will goes well with your life. I hope your daughter is well too. Just let me know when you are ready to back into the blogging world :)

Back to the topic, the husband always has to carry extra responsibility in providing his wife a feel of security. No matter it is in money, place, job or protection, a feel of security is important. As a kid, we search it from our parents, and when we are married, we seek it from our partner :)

bluecrystaldude said...

Hi Waliz,

Thank you for dropping by and comment my post in amidst of your tight schedule. I feel like doing some kind of Hot Shit Form Here reunion of sort. With you, Sweetiepie, Bluedreamer here, it sure gives me a reason to celebrate. Hehe

So, do you think that a married woman who has a career and or kids could cope with all those tensions and responsibilities? Thanks for your comment again Waliz. I hope you already found your Mr. Right and just waiting for the right time to get married. hehe. Oh, and all the best with your Master's study :)

~mista [s.h.a.n.d.y.e]~ said...

what age is the suitable age to get married?

well... it depends on your standing upon a few criteria namely financially, emotionally (you definitely got to be sane to be able to understand the vows and whatever not during the marriage ceremony.. hehe..), mentally (no offence, but a complete idiot or retards like britney, k-fed and pam anderson should never get married in the 1st place) and of course physically (you don't wanna get married to a guy on his deathbed, right??)

anyway... i have lots of friends who does not go by the common rules that i have mentioned and get married exactly right after high school. yep, at the early age of 17. he just out of school, she is a school dropout. an uncanny combination.

but that is in 2002. fast forward six years later in 2008, they have two young boys and he is a supervisor in a factory why she works at a school canteen. they survive. they are happily married.

so you see, at what age you are supposed to get married definitely does not have to follow the common rules set by us.

it all depends on you...

fara said...

wow. some serious replies there.
as for me,
ngeh.
wait till my basic is at least rm5k.
then baru kawen hahaha

AngelBaby said...

All I can say is that I met my Late husband in college and we were happily married for 25 years. We raised two wonderful children. He died in 1993 of a massive heart attack, he was only 47 years old. We would still be married today if he was alive. The key to a successful marriage is not to take things to seriously and only make a big deal about the important things. Enjoy lots of laughter and fun, never forget how much you love each other.

Love and Blessings,
AngelBaby

coolingstar9 said...

bluecrystaldule,
Nowadays, the marriage age become older and older mostly after 30 years old mainly due to career.
Our great great grandmother or grandmother's time, their marriage age can be as low as 16 years old for lady ), 20 years old for man.
It is good for a lady to marry early so that she can have a baby more easily.
He, he, For those who have missed the opportunities , they can marry even 40 years old, 60 years old or so on. There is no age limit.
Have a nice day.

mangosteenskin said...

keeping my promise to comment, dude!

scientifically, woman reaches optimum physical maturity at 25, and man, 30. That's the best age for reproduction, i guess. hahaha!

i strongly believe that we could only plan (but we must plan!). the rest lies in God's hand. love can struck u at times u never expect, and next thing u realize is u're a completely different person, and the way u see things has changed. that, my friend, could happen!

as a kid, i like to read, and at 10, after reading a book, (which says 25 is the best age for a female to get married) i told myself i want to get married at 25 (haha, so naive!). at the age of 19, i met my husband, and he asked my hands for marriage. I refused for many reasons. 7 years later...i was married to the same person, no matter what, or how much excuses I made to avoid him before!

to think deeply enough...it's not us to decide how long we want a marriage to last. well, of course we must work hard to maintain the relationship but, in case things not working as planned, we have to accept what God's has destined for us. If not divorce, perhaps it's death which tear us apart, isn't it?. Only God knows.

Don't think too hard about it. Just be happy lah.

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